Friday, September 30

Absentminded Woolgathering

I watch and I wait and I try to hold fast. I am a shieldmaiden of the shelter, defender of the home, but not an adventurer or soldier on mission. My assignment is wait, watch, hope.

Essentially, this fellow said it perfectly. I have thoughts like that at times; I often wish for such pivotal life moments. But they don’t always happen the way they’re expected. Sometimes I have a sweet thought of a romantic moment, and suddenly I’m disappointed because I realize it probably won’t happen that way. I’ve “jinxed it,” or rather, God’s plan is always better than mine if mine is other than His, and often He chooses to surprise, so I don’t imagine that my daydreams becoming reality will be His primary method. Sometimes my imaginings are creative, but I have to remember He is more creative than I.

I am a shieldmaiden, so I watch. But when the meeting comes, I will likely be caught off guard, unprepared, and at a loss for words. My first defense is silence. My second, quiet reasoning. It may be agonizing, wishing that I could act, that I could speak, but it will be perfect. It may be shy and sweet, but it will be perfect. It may not seem like the life-changing moment it is, but it will be perfect. It may have movie soundtrack music in the background (though that might be awkward), but it will be perfect.

Perfect because I didn’t plan it; He did.

And that is enough for me.

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